Grace Has Brought Me Home

“I am awakened; renewed. I am broken and tired and weak, but you give me just enough strength to worship you from the bottom of my heart. I want to praise you with every breath and every ounce of strength that I have. Lord, I give myself with you; I have nothing left and no strength. My only desire is to worship you and to celebrate the victory of your grace. Every day I see it Lord; you are transforming me and teaching me to walk in your spirit with courage, boldness and an unshakable faith”. (From my journal)

I began this week feeling homesick and lost but I write today saying that I have found my home in God’s grace and I want to dwell in it forever. I am running down this path of the Holy Spirit without looking back and with arms wide open. I apologize in advance for the disorganization of this blog; So much has happened this week and I am doing good just to get it all in. Also please realize that I am writing my blogs a week after they occurred.

                First of all we are learning Spanish. I have so far learned the alphabet, how to conjugate verbs, simple phrases and useful words. My favorite is “Que Dios te bendiga” which means “God Bless You”. We also learned basic CPR and simple first aid. We have continued our ministry with our host Irma. It brings her such joy for us even to simply show up and visit with her. We have one girl on our team who can speak Spanish and often translates for us but other than that we can’t very well communicate with her; yet somehow we have become close. We also are in the midst of helping Mission Training Institute (MTI) build their new facility in Matamoros which is super fun getting to get our hands dirty.

                Aside from ministry, we dug deep into the concepts of grace and celebration. We began the week with talking about the power of God’s grace in our lives. I won’t go too much in detail for fear of turning this blog into a novel but I challenge you to sit down and think of the power of His grace in loving us and setting us free from every burden that we carry. I myself was unable to accept this truth of the glory of His grace until we took part in foot washing. If you don’t know what this is please read John 13:1-17. The basic principality of this ceremony is to carry each other’s burdens and walk with them in God’s grace as they are healed from their burdens, struggles and addictions. Long story short I was able to surface the core of so many things that I have been struggling with. Not only was I able to bring this weakness into the light, I was transformed and released of this stronghold. The next day we shared in the Lord’s Supper, not in communion but sharing in the remembrance of Christ as we ate dinner together. We then celebrated the joy of our freedom with a HUGE dance party (ya that’s right). They set up the office with streamers, used our headlamps as strobe lights, made chocolate cake and got all of our IPODS to play dance music. It was just what we needed; a time to be together, laugh and celebrate His grace in our lives. We washed eachother’s feet, we shared in the Lord’s supper, we dance when one of us is joyful and cry when one of us mourns; we are a family. Praise be to God who brings us together by His Grace.

My Uganda Family.  From the left: Kyle, me, JB, Jenessa, John and Cherise.

 

The Novas Family in all our craziness!!! (Yes that is an Elmo Pinata)

                I have spent many hours reflecting this change that has been brought upon me. When I look at the person that I was even two weeks ago I see the transformation. God is molding me into a person that I could have never imagined becoming. I walk with a different step, with different eyes and with a different heart. The following is a prayer that I wrote in my journal describing the change that has become of me.

Only by your Spirit have I come to this place. May your Spirit overflow in me so that I may have enough of your grace to fill me but more to pour into others. How did I get to this place? I was lost, broken, defeated and terrified. You have brought me home to a place where I can rest; a place where I am safe, where my wounds have scabbed over and are healing. I have been brought to a place of courage and strength. With all my strength I fight the flesh so that I may follow your spirit. The more I fight the weaker I become but the stronger You become in me. Your strength overcomes me and I am saved by your hand. Your grace has brought me home. 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest in me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

I reflect on your promises:

“Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart”. (Psalm 37:4)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will straighten your paths”. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Eagerly I follow boldly in your Spirit trying my best to not turn back or even look back. You are fulfilling your promises for me. You have brought me to places that I could have never gotten to alone. Let me remain faithful in walking with you for this joy and this wholeness cannot be replaced with anything in this world. You are good God. I LOVE YOU!!! Let me embrace this completeness that you have given me through freedom. Let me praise you with all my breath; let me not hold on to a thing of this world but let me be released and run to you with all I have. Amen.

I pray for blessings upon you. I pray that God speaks to you and shows you the power of His Grace.