So I was thinking
about what I could possibly write this week to convey all that has
happened but that would painful. So instead, I'm going to bring
you to a tiny miracle. Today, I was walking to go visit an elder at
the church, Mama Tom, who can be only described as slightly off her
rocker for Jesus. I love her so much. Anyways, on the way, I was
looking ahead to our destination and all of a sudden, I saw one of my
favorite street girls, Nola, coming at me full speed with her arms
open wide open. She ran up to me and wrapped her whole body around
my legs. I looked down at her and she was beaming (I can only assume
that I had a similar expression). She was looking at me, but in her
eyes, I saw a different face. In that moment, I saw God smiling back
at me. It was a sweet moment that words can't even describe; it
was a breath of fresh air, a glimmer of hope and a reminder of God's
unfailing love and presence. Jesus says "Whoever does not receive
the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it" (Luke 18: 17).

I hear so often
that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the children and so therefore
we have to have a child-like faith. But today, in that simple
miracle of Nola wrapping her arms around me and seeing her joy, I was
reminded of just what that looks like and what that really means. I
am guilty of trying to be an equal to God, you know having grown-up
conversations and being reserved when I encounter His presence. But
let's face it, there is no way to be God's equal. In Romans 8
Paul says, "the Spirit makes you God's children and by the
Spirit's power we cry out to God, ‘Father! My Father!'". I
am God's child and all He wants and expects from me is to be so.
He sees my heart and He knows that shaking His hand and exchanging
meaningless pleasantries is not where my heart is. Paul goes on to
say that "God's spirit joins himself to our spirits to declare
that we are God's children" (I love this because I always
imagine that this verse is a description of God giving me a big giant
hug). This is what God wants from me: He wants me to run full force
at Him with my arms wide open, wrap my whole body around Him and look
up at Him beaming with joy just because He is there holding me. The
best part about this is that in this, He wants me to look up at Him
and see that just as I am beaming in His presence, He is looking down
at me with the same amount of joy and delight. God doesn't want
the reserved, put together, adult version of me. He wants me as I
really am, a child who cries out to her Father because things are
just rough; a child who runs unreserved at her Father because she is
so excited just to see Him that she can't hold back. He wants
nothing more than to comfort me in this time that is so difficult for
me because He loves me and He delights in me simply being His child.
He knows and understands that this life is too difficult for me to
handle and I can just hear Him saying "my child, you don't have
to carry all of this weight. It is too heavy for you. I am your
Father who loves you, let me carry it for you. You don't have to
pretend to be strong, I will be strong for you. Don't worry my
princess, I am taking care of you."

God shows His love
in tiny miracles. He reminds us of who we are and who He is in the
simplest of ways so that we can understand. Look for those tiny
miracles and remember that you are God's child and that is all that
He expects you to be. He is your Father and He delights in you being
His child. Don't hold back, let Him be your Father.